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Memo to be given to ALL new presidents.

·         Do NOT fart in public. If it slips, do not make fun of it.

·         Do not start a war without good intel

·         Try not to piss off every other country in the world.

·         Do NOT rub the shoulders of a female, particularly in high office.

·         Do not over-extend the military, in case of a natural disaster.

·         If a natural disaster occurs, and the military is over extended, 

        try to get food and water to people before they die of dehydration, or starve.

·         If someone in your administration is involved in a leak, fire them.

·         If you say you will fire someone who leaks information from your administration, do it.

·         If your speaking ability leaves you a laughing stock in front of a high school,

then read crib notes. SLOWLY.

·         If you spy on peoples emails, read them, especially if they are emailing the Constitution.

·         The phrase “the tide is turning” is a colloquialism, and should not be taken literally.

·         If you are asked what the best moment in office is, do not include “a large mouth bass” as part of the answer.

·         Its not a good idea to publicly state that you wish you were a dictator.

·         You do not have the ability to create new words, even if they “sound good”.

·         If you torture people from other countries, they might do the same to us.

·         It might not be a good idea for you, or your officials companies 

        to become filthy rich from government contracts.

·         Companies owned by the Vice President, and other officials, should not set policy.

·         Whistle blowers are GOOD things.

·         If your top military commanders let a terrorist act happen, don’t promote them.

·         If someone tells you “America is under attack” it might be  a good idea to start acting, 

        no matter how important the meeting your in seems.

·         If you start more than one war, without being attacked,

        and start building MORE nuclear devices, you cant call yourself the “peace president”.

·         If you attack the wrong country, you should apologize, and leave at their earliest convenience.

·         You can not claim to be a moral and religious leader, 

        if the country you invaded has had losses of over ½ million human beings.

·         If there is no real proof another country is going to invade the US, then it is probably not a good idea to start a war.

·         Remember that ANY war you start means you FAILED in diplomacy.

·         When its absolutely obvious you made a mistake, admit it, own it.

·         The President serves at the “PLEASURE” of the American people.

·         Use common sense, if you do not have any, give the job to someone who does.

Smart people for George Bush (detailed list)

bUSH hUMOR - political satire  Politics 

Bush Humor -Political satire  Politics 

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